Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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