I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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