Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she told me i tasted like america
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
