you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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