Your tits are I can't wait for
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
