i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize