You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I FOUND THE LEGS
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing