I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
