we're blogging at a bar
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
