i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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