he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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