it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
