If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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