Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
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