new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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