It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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