I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
