he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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