So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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