I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My first STD was from a foam party
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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