I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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