I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
