Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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