dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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