apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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