Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
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I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize