we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
