its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
