yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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