her facebook's as public as her vagina
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
