I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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