you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
