well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
