PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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