the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
