Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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