Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
so much tequila, so little girl.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
