Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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