Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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