i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
