You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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