I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
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Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
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She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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