ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
