glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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