Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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