I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
