You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
