Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize