yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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