Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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