I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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