You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
