I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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