It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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