Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
